Welcome to Oakmere

Thirty-two residents. Twenty-seven opinions about the heating. And Colin Briggs with a Facebook account.

Now he has a room, an increasingly complicated relationship with the other residents, and rather too much time to tell Facebook what goes on behind Oakmere's respectable front door.

Meet the Residents

Some of them came for the care. Some for the company. Some are disputing their circumstances.

Halfway Arthur

Arthur has been going to breakfast for three years. He remains confident he'll get there eventually. He knows everybody's business, although rarely remembers where he heard it, and has an uncanny ability to arrive halfway through any conversation.

Moaning Val

Val doesn't moan. She's made this perfectly clear on several occasions, usually at considerable length.

She regards Oakmere as a perfectly acceptable establishment which would be considerably improved if somebody competent were put in charge.

Decaff Doreen

Doreen knows everything that happens at Oakmere. Usually before it happens.

She has never knowingly spread gossip. She merely passes on information to people who might find it useful.

Unfortunately, she considers everybody useful.

Barry the Keyboard Player

Barry hasn't had a proper gig since 1978. Nobody at Oakmere understands why.

He plays everything: show tunes, rock 'n roll, hymns, and anything else he thinks might cheer the place up.

At Christmas, he sat through an argument between Moaning Val and Halfway Arthur about whether bluebirds ever flew above the White Cliffs of Dover.

Stories From Oakmere Lodge

Life at Oakmere is rarely dramatic. Colin Briggs is doing his best to change that.

These stories follow Colin and his fellow residents through the small disputes, misunderstandings and minor catastrophes of life at Oakmere Lodge.

The Accidental Resident

Colin Briggs decides that the outside world deserves to know what life inside Oakmere Lodge is really like. The residents may have other ideas.